the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
