I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
