I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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