I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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