Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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