I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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