god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
