Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
