we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
