You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
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Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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