what day is it and did you see me today?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
