508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
