Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
