Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
