dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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