the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
