i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
