so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
only you would photoshop your dick
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
