I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
