If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
