Where is the hickey?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
