I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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