Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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