8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
