i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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