I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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