omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
