Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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