My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
