Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
