exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
