Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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