it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
