Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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