she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
