This dress was meant to end up on your floor
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
we should paint friendship bongs
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