hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize