He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
They took my balls.
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Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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