Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
