He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
