she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
