If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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