Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize