how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
