Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
whose ass print is on the piano?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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