While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
