Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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