I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do vagina's smell?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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