it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
