just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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