when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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