It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize