tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think I have vodka in my lungs
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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