Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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