Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
