Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
