i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
