I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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