drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize