Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
