dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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