First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
