Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Congratulations! We have a period
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