Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize