i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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