I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
