Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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