I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
